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Love me or leave me

We all know the feeling – we fall in love and think we’ll feel the same butterflies forever. However, in real life sometimes relationships are impossible to work.

But you don’t need to think about falling out of love at the beginning. Sometimes, it’s okay to stay in a relationship that you know it’ll end eventually.

An ended relationship isn’t a failure – not every relationship will last forever. You don’t have to end the relationship the moment you realize it isn’t permanent if you still get enough out of it. 

You do have to break up if your partner is worsening your life instead of improving it.  If you don’t have fun together anymore and you spend the time fighting, well, it’s time for one of you to have the courage and end the relationship. 

Falling out of love

This personal and complicated process can happen out of nowhere. You can wake up one day and realize you’re over it. So, if you were wondering why your partner started acting out strangely out of nowhere, and they aren’t as interested in you as they once were, well, this may be the case.  For others, it can happen throughout a longer period. Whatever the case, you need to end the relationship and stop torturing the other person.

Deal with the guilty feelings for wanting to end things

Nobody should feel guilty for wanting to leave the person that doesn’t make them happy anymore. You aren’t doing any good to this person if they’re convinced that you love them and you’ll always be there for them. You’re hurting the person if you stay in the relationship out of guilt or obligation! 


You’re just selfish if you don’t break up with someone you don’t love anymore. You need to leave your partner even if you’re overwhelmed with feelings of self-loathing or guilt. Accept that you must end the relationship. 

Break up face-to-face if you fall out of love

Everyone deserves a conversation face-to-face about why the relationship is ending. Don’t use text messages, email, or voicemail to end things with someone even if the relationship was short. The closure is important for both of you.

Explain why you’re ending things

Being honest is the hardest part when you break up with someone. However, you need to have the courage to sit down and talk. Whatever the reasons and whatever what changed during your relationship, you need to consider the good parts of your love relationship.

Remember, you’re breaking up with the person you once cared about and shared many good moments. You want to end things in a good way, so when both of you think about the time spent together you’ll feel good.  

You need to tell your partner the real reasons why you’re ending the relationship. Most importantly, allow your partner to share their feelings and thoughts as well. However, don’t let their perspective of the relationship to make you feel bad or change your decision. 


Signs that you are in a loveless marriage

Here are some possible signs that you are in a loveless marriage. It is important to be honest with yourself and do an inventory of your emotions.

Divorce is hard, but so is being in a loveless marriage. Don’t stay in a relationship where you get nothing out of it. 

If you identify with some (of all) these signs, talk with your spouse partner, and look for a couple’s counselor. We know that every marriage can go through rough patches. But sometimes, a rough patch can stretch into rough months or even years. So, if you feel you are experiencing a lengthy rough patch, it is time to stop and see what you want from your marriage. 


However, determining the difference between a “rough patch” and a persisting problem is not so simple. To help you, here are the signs that you might be in a loveless marriage. Start noticing the red flags.

Your partner constantly criticize you – or vice versa

Yes, we all get cranky. It is okay to be annoyed if your partner never picks a restaurant. However, it’s crucial to understand whether your frustration comes from a lack of respect for your spouse, or if you are having a bad day. If you use terms like ‘always’ and ‘never,’ you are not just criticizing them – you are assassinating their character. So, look out for the way you criticize your partner. 

But there are ways of criticizing that are not personal attacks. Instead of saying “you are a bad listener, say “I feel bad when you care more about Facebook than what I have to tell you.” 

Couples avoid each other in a loveless marriage 

Do you find yourself spending more time roaming through the store or staying longer at work so you don’t have to go home to your partner? Do you both spend time on your phones when you are supposed to watch a movie? Do you go to bed at different times? These could be signs that you are unsatisfied and in a loveless marriage.

As you grow more distant with your partner, there might be discomfort or even a sense of repulsion when you are spending time together. If you feel like “yourself” when you are alone, with friends, or even at work, you may consider ending the marriage. If you feel uncomfortable when you think about your spouse coming back into the picture, you have a real problem. 

loveless marriage

The connection stops in a loveless marriage 

Do you feel numb? In a loveless marriage, hostility and conflict are replaced by a cold calm. Couples say ‘thank you’ and ‘please’, they work as a team to parent and maintain a home, but they are no longer part of a team in an emotional sense. If you don’t put in the effort to give compassion, show vulnerability, be friends, you are no longer partners. Your spouse has become the equivalent of a roommate that you want to avoid. 


Related story: 

How to prepare your children for a divorce

You don’t have date nights anymore

A dry spell can last a month or so for different reasons, like tight budget, lack of babysitter, packed social calendar, or exhaustion – you do not get dressed up, make a reservation to a nice restaurant, and enjoy a relaxing date night. But, if you cannot remember when was the last time you two went out alone, it has gone beyond what is an acceptable dry spell, and you both can no longer look the other way.

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Make me warm in this cold weather

Yes, we already have cold weather, but you and your partner can make each other warm with our date ideas.

Yes, we already have cold weather, but you and your partner can make each other warm with our date ideas.

This time of the year can be extra sexy, cuddling up by your fireplace, with the entire magical atmosphere.

Turn on the romance in your relationship and get the magic out of this season. Use cold weather as an excuse to have sexy, romantic dates that will light the sparkle in your relationship. Being stuck inside in this cold weather doesn’t need to be boring! You and your partner can find ways to make your time delightful while the weather outside is frightful.


To us, romance is about comfort, fun, and silliness. So, when cold weather rolls around, we want to warm up with some winter romance. Use our ideas to warm each other up!

Bake cookies together

What a better way to spend some quality time together? You can be silly and make a whole mess in the kitchen while preparing the cookies, and then have fun cleaning it up. Cozy up by your fireplace, take your freshly baked cookies and make tea with rum, too. The tea will add to the warmth! 

Make fondue

This is the best food for the cold weather! Fondue takes delicious forms – chocolate or cheese, making it a tasty date. Heat some cheese or chocolate in your house and start dipping away!

cold weather

Sing karaoke

Belting out “I Will Always Love You” in public may not be for you, but you can have your karaoke when no one can hear you! Well, except for your neighbors! This is about being silly together, so it’s a key for a lighthearted date. When you look foolish with someone else, the embarrassing act will turn into a bonding one. Sing your hearts out to your favorite songs. So, you will make some fun memories together! 

How to prepare a romantic dinner at home

Watch all your favorite movies

Since you love to stay in bed during the cold weather, use it as an opportunity to watch all your favorite movies. You can take turns and watch each other’s picks. Stock up on the cookies, get your blankets out, and make your partner watch your favorite movies, no matter how cheesy they are. 

Make cocktails

Find some recipes online and put all those bottles at your home to good use to make some festive cocktails together! Bourbon-spiked hot chocolate? Yes, please! Sparkling apple cider sangria? Even better. Enjoy!

How to celebrate your anniversary at home?

Host a beer tasting

Pick up different beers and host a tasting for two! You can try champagne-style beers, chocolate stouts, sour beers, or some types you have never tried before. And we all know that we have more fun in bed after a few glasses of alcohol!  

cold weather

A spa day at home

Draw up a bubble bath with bath salts and essential oils. Put on some relaxing music, light candles, and enjoy spending time together, not caring for the rest of the world. And some wine would be a great idea! There is some magic in spending time naked with your partner! 


Have breakfast in bed

 Your dates don’t have to happen at night! If you wake up to cold weather, cook some breakfast together, and go back to bed to eat! Talk, cuddle, and have some morning sex. You know that there isn’t a better start to the day than sex!

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Signs that you shouldn’t start a relationship

To protect yourself and not get hurt, it would be smart to pay attention to some signs before you start a serious relationship.

In some situations, it is more than obvious that the person you are seeing will be the perfect partner for a serious relationship, but sometimes their behavior can make you doubt it.

Below you can see the warning signs that you should not start a relationship with the person you like at the moment. 


They constantly cancel plans

How many times have you prepared to go out with this person, and they canceled on you at the last minute? It can happen to all of us to cancel a plan because something unexpected has come up. But if this happens too often, then this person does not value your time or you at all. Therefore, do not waste your time with them.

They hide you from everyone

It is normal at the beginning not to tell everyone that you have someone new in your life. We all have been there – we are not sure if we will continue to see that person, so we keep things to ourselves. However, if you see each other for a long time and this person is still hiding from your friends, something is wrong.

Do they avoid going to a restaurant or any public place and always suggest going to their place or yours? Do they always find an excuse not to meet even their best friends? If yes, ask yourself why.

They still complain about their ex

Maybe they are just whiny, or they might have unresolved issues with their former partner. You do not have to listen to them. Trust us – that never ends well. Your dates shouldn’t feel like counseling sessions. You do not have to keep all your romantic plans aside because you have to console them. 

They are NEVER available

This is one of the signs you should never ignore. You do not want to be with a person who never replies to your messages, doesn’t take your calls, and NEVER calls back. How do you expect them to be there for you when they don’t even take your calls? 

They do not want you to be friends on social networks

Social networks are an important part of our lives today, so if the person you like uses them but does not want to be online friends, they are hiding something.

Calling you only at night (or when drunk)

If this person likes you, they will not think of you only at night or when they are bored. If you have noticed that they call you and send you messages only in the evening or after drinking alcohol, it is not worth spending your time with them.


They change their attitude all the time 

One day they treat you like you are the most important person in the world for them, but the next they forget that you exist. Did you go out with this person and have a wonderful time, but the next day they did not write you one message? Well, this person is not interested in you, and you shouldn’t hope that they will change.


They tell you that they are not ready for a relationship

But that is confusing, right? They don’t want you to be in a relationship, but they still flirt with you and call you? Although it is difficult to accept this, they are probably just using you. If you want something serious, but they always have an excuse why not to start a relationship, it is time to find someone else.

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