Divorce is hard, but so is being in a loveless marriage. Don’t stay in a relationship where you get nothing out of it. 

If you identify with some (of all) these signs, talk with your spouse partner, and look for a couple’s counselor. We know that every marriage can go through rough patches. But sometimes, a rough patch can stretch into rough months or even years. So, if you feel you are experiencing a lengthy rough patch, it is time to stop and see what you want from your marriage. 

Advertisement

However, determining the difference between a “rough patch” and a persisting problem is not so simple. To help you, here are the signs that you might be in a loveless marriage. Start noticing the red flags.

Your partner constantly criticize you – or vice versa

Yes, we all get cranky. It is okay to be annoyed if your partner never picks a restaurant. However, it’s crucial to understand whether your frustration comes from a lack of respect for your spouse, or if you are having a bad day. If you use terms like ‘always’ and ‘never,’ you are not just criticizing them – you are assassinating their character. So, look out for the way you criticize your partner. 

But there are ways of criticizing that are not personal attacks. Instead of saying “you are a bad listener, say “I feel bad when you care more about Facebook than what I have to tell you.” 

Couples avoid each other in a loveless marriage 

Do you find yourself spending more time roaming through the store or staying longer at work so you don’t have to go home to your partner? Do you both spend time on your phones when you are supposed to watch a movie? Do you go to bed at different times? These could be signs that you are unsatisfied and in a loveless marriage.

As you grow more distant with your partner, there might be discomfort or even a sense of repulsion when you are spending time together. If you feel like “yourself” when you are alone, with friends, or even at work, you may consider ending the marriage. If you feel uncomfortable when you think about your spouse coming back into the picture, you have a real problem. 

The connection stops in a loveless marriage 

Do you feel numb? In a loveless marriage, hostility and conflict are replaced by a cold calm. Couples say ‘thank you’ and ‘please’, they work as a team to parent and maintain a home, but they are no longer part of a team in an emotional sense. If you don’t put in the effort to give compassion, show vulnerability, be friends, you are no longer partners. Your spouse has become the equivalent of a roommate that you want to avoid. 

Advertisement

Related story: 

How to prepare your children for a divorce

You don’t have date nights anymore

A dry spell can last a month or so for different reasons, like tight budget, lack of babysitter, packed social calendar, or exhaustion – you do not get dressed up, make a reservation to a nice restaurant, and enjoy a relaxing date night. But, if you cannot remember when was the last time you two went out alone, it has gone beyond what is an acceptable dry spell, and you both can no longer look the other way.

Yes, we already have cold weather, but you and your partner can make each other warm with our date ideas.

This time of the year can be extra sexy, cuddling up by your fireplace, with the entire magical atmosphere.

Turn on the romance in your relationship and get the magic out of this season. Use cold weather as an excuse to have sexy, romantic dates that will light the sparkle in your relationship. Being stuck inside in this cold weather doesn’t need to be boring! You and your partner can find ways to make your time delightful while the weather outside is frightful.

Advertisement

To us, romance is about comfort, fun, and silliness. So, when cold weather rolls around, we want to warm up with some winter romance. Use our ideas to warm each other up!

Bake cookies together

What a better way to spend some quality time together? You can be silly and make a whole mess in the kitchen while preparing the cookies, and then have fun cleaning it up. Cozy up by your fireplace, take your freshly baked cookies and make tea with rum, too. The tea will add to the warmth! 

Make fondue

This is the best food for the cold weather! Fondue takes delicious forms – chocolate or cheese, making it a tasty date. Heat some cheese or chocolate in your house and start dipping away!

Sing karaoke

Belting out “I Will Always Love You” in public may not be for you, but you can have your karaoke when no one can hear you! Well, except for your neighbors! This is about being silly together, so it’s a key for a lighthearted date. When you look foolish with someone else, the embarrassing act will turn into a bonding one. Sing your hearts out to your favorite songs. So, you will make some fun memories together! 

How to prepare a romantic dinner at home

Watch all your favorite movies

Since you love to stay in bed during the cold weather, use it as an opportunity to watch all your favorite movies. You can take turns and watch each other’s picks. Stock up on the cookies, get your blankets out, and make your partner watch your favorite movies, no matter how cheesy they are. 

Make cocktails

Find some recipes online and put all those bottles at your home to good use to make some festive cocktails together! Bourbon-spiked hot chocolate? Yes, please! Sparkling apple cider sangria? Even better. Enjoy!

How to celebrate your anniversary at home?

Host a beer tasting

Pick up different beers and host a tasting for two! You can try champagne-style beers, chocolate stouts, sour beers, or some types you have never tried before. And we all know that we have more fun in bed after a few glasses of alcohol!  

A spa day at home

Draw up a bubble bath with bath salts and essential oils. Put on some relaxing music, light candles, and enjoy spending time together, not caring for the rest of the world. And some wine would be a great idea! There is some magic in spending time naked with your partner! 

Advertisement

Have breakfast in bed

 Your dates don’t have to happen at night! If you wake up to cold weather, cook some breakfast together, and go back to bed to eat! Talk, cuddle, and have some morning sex. You know that there isn’t a better start to the day than sex!

We offer you some advice on when it is time to break up and move on. Just be mindful that you know your relationship the best.

We just want you to help to make the best decision for your relationship. You should know that if you do decide to break up, it will not be the end of your life. We promise you. 

Advertisement

Break up if you cannot imagine the future with your partner 

Does thinking about the future freaks you out? Well, you should break up if you cannot see your partner in the future. Don’t get us wrong – we are all about staying in the moment instead of looking ahead into the future. However, if you cannot picture your partner beside you on your best adventures, well, that is a bad sign. 

If you hold your current partner without intent for plans, you are limiting both of you from finding true happiness. Just ask, “Where do I see myself in 1 year?” Now, did you see this person with you?

You feel bored or stuck 

Sorry, but you probably need to break up if you are not satisfied regardless of what you do together. If you have tried everything together from rock climbing to trips, but you still disengage from your partner when you are together, it may be a sign to move on. You should break up particularly if you constantly imagine how your life would be different without him/her and the vision is tempting.

Advertisement

Break up if you do not feel like a priority

Do you continuously feel insignificant, neglected, or not cared for in the relationship? There is a major difference between a person who is busy with commitments and a person who simply does not make time for you. If your partner is neglectful and inattentive of your needs, despite your efforts in communicating your needs to him/her, well your partner is not valuing the relationship and you. Your partner will never be capable of meeting your emotional needs if they lack adequate relationship skills.

You are on different pages

If you feel all the time that one of you is more “in it” than the other, then maybe it is time to end things. Okay, it is normal for feelings to seesaw a little bit. However, if you feel like your partner is so into you and you are only meh about them or vice versa, then your relationship may have been doomed from the very beginning. You cannot force someone who does not want to be in a serious relationship to want one all of a sudden. You have to accept that is not the one if the timing is off. We know that and this is one of the hardest lessons anyone has to learn.