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Why are you not getting wet?

There is nothing more annoying than being turned on but still dry.

You cannot just make yourself get wet, and it is frustrating when you are horny, but your body is not on the same page.  

Among the many wonderful things a vagina can do, self-lubrication might not be a big achievement, but it deserves more credit. Lubrication makes all the difference when it comes to having amazing sex. And women have a built-in lubrication system in their bodies! 

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Read this article if you are curious to learn about some common reasons you may not be getting wet.

The reason why you are not getting wet might be dehydration 

Dehydration can be the reason behind any vaginal dryness. Since the cells are composed mostly of water, poor water intake can cause many harmful effects on the body, including vaginal dryness. 

But this problem has an easy fix though. You should just work to stay consistently hydrated. And if not drinking enough water is the only reason for your dryness, you will see improvements in about three days! 

You are skipping the foreplay

Many studies have shown that it takes the vagina about 10-45 minutes to get fully aroused. So, if you are one of those couples whose sex lasts less than 15 minutes, don’t be surprised why you don’t get wet properly. 

You should give enough time to get fully turned on or engaged in the foreplay. Our bodies are not like on and off switches, so you need to take the time and enjoy the foreplay. This, too, has an easy solution. Make sure you have enough time, slow down, and give yourself the needed time to let yourself become aroused and wet! 

Antidepressants might be a cause for not getting wet

We all know that antidepressants impact our libidos, but they can also interfere with vaginal lubrication. To solve this problem, you should talk to your psychiatrist about taking different medications until you find the ones that suit you best for your mental and sexual health. 

Imbalanced hormones 

A decrease in estrogen levels after childbirth, during breastfeeding, menopause, or perimenopause can be the reason for a dry vagina.  Be aware that cancer treatments like pelvic radiation and chemotherapy can lead to a decrease in estrogen levels as well. That will result in a decrease in vaginal lubrication.  

You are disconnected from your body during sex 

If you aren’t present at the moment and don’t enjoy it, this might be also a factor for dryness. If you are not connected with your body, you are not allowing your body to fully be turned on. And the arousal is what gets the fluids pumping. 

wet

It is hard to get wet when you are stressed out and not focusing on sex. Practice breathing exercises and mindfulness to connect with your body during sex. The more connected you are, the more you can allow yourself to be aroused. 

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Your partner can’t make you wet 

Yep, this is a thing. Sometimes you can get wet just because you are having issues with your sexual partner. If your partner is not doing what he/she should, or he/she is, but it is not working for you, you are not going to be wet.  You need to be sexually attracted to the person who touches your vagina.

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Sings that your partner is selfish in bed

Sex with your partner should provide pleasure, enjoyment, passion, and connection, but that’s nearly impossible if your partner is selfish in bed.

To experience all the beautiful things sex offers, you both shouldn’t be selfish in bed – you need to be equally involved.

Although orgasm is not and does not always have to be the goal when we have sex, when it is present, it should be the culmination reached by both of you. Today, women talk about sex more openly than ever, and many of them admit that they are still deprived of the big O. Women who have selfish partners, see orgasm as something unattainable and something that does not come naturally to them.

Orgasm is achievable when both of you strive for it. But if you are one of those women who don’t achieve orgasms very often, you may simply have a selfish partner who is not ready to satisfy your needs. Below you will find five things that point to this.

You do all the work

If your partner is constantly passive and constantly expects you do all the work, it is a sign that he is selfish during sex. Activity during foreplay, oral pleasure, and effort during sex should be equal. No partner should expect the other to do everything and enjoy the pleasure without giving anything in return.

He avoids foreplay

For many women, foreplay is a very important part of sexual intercourse, and many cannot have an orgasm without it. If your partner avoids that part and immediately goes to sex, it is a sign that he is selfish and he wants to satisfy only his needs.

Related story:
The importance of foreplay for an amazing orgasm

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He doesn’t fulfill your wishes

You should not keep to yourself any desires, fantasies, and things you want in sex. But if you tell your partner about them and he refuses to even try to fulfill those fantasies, you should know that your partner is selfish in bed. Okay, we know that no one should ever do things that make them feel bad during sex, but if your partner refuses things like foreplay, changing poses, or getting involved in sex, you need to talk more about all of this to see if there are other issues or if he is selfish.

selfish in bed

Your partner is focused only on his needs

Sex should always be an activity enjoyed by both of you. If your partner asks you to do something that only he wants or if he gets angry when you refuse to do something that makes you feel bad, it is a sign that he is selfish. Also, your partner should not be focused only on his orgasm during sex, but also on your desires.

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Your partner believes that he has the right to have sex whenever he wants

Selfishness in sex is often manifested in the demand for sex and rejection. A person who thinks he has the right to have sex at any time and who can say “no” to you, but does not accept “no” from you, is not only selfish but also dangerous.

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Mistakes men make in bed

Sex is amazing, of course. But sometimes, either when men try something new or when they are caught up in the moment, the sex can be no so good.

Men, it is really important to be good in bed, because if you do not have the moves and skills to satisfy women, they will be quick to let you go. 

Here are the sex mistakes men make in bed way too often. These things they do during sex can end up killing the mood. Dudes, make sure you aren’t doing any of them.

Related story:

What makes a woman good in bed?

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They move too quickly to genital touch

When they finally understand how long it takes to arouse a lady, they want to start the process immediately. They like their genitals stimulated directly, so they assume women would want the same. However, they should allow the woman to prepare psychologically because the early stimulation is not exciting for women. Instead, you should spend some time massaging and kissing her whole body.

Stimulating her vagina instead of her clitoris

For the last time – what you feel on your penis is not what women feel in their vaginas. Feeling in the penis is based on touch, but in the vagina, the sensation is created by pressure and stretch. For women, the clitoris parallels penile sensation (except her anatomy is more sensitive and delicate). The clitoris is the center of women’s sexual universe. However, it gets harder. Finding the clit is only half of the job. Some of you need to work on their techniques once they are down there. To start, don’t treat the clitoris like you are scrubbing a pan clean. 

They have high expectations due to watching porn

Not everything you see on porn can be done in your bedroom. Maybe your partner is not into everything you have seen online and is not physically capable of doing all that stuff, or maybe they just do not want to. Always listen to your woman’s needs – that’s crucial. Porn also skips foreplay-and-lube events, which are important. We know by now that sipping these steps can be painful.

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They do not respond to women’s needs

When a woman tells you to keep going, and she likes it, don’t start to speed up or change your tempo. She liked it the way it was before. If she moans, that does not mean to change into rabbit fuck mode. By rubbing in between the vagina and clitoris up and down (rubbing against the urethra), you can give your partner cystitis, and it does not feel good.

unhappy couple | Men

These things are not just about pace, but about knowing whether or not you are cognizant of each other’s verbal and non-verbal cues. Telling your needs and responding to your partner’s needs is the key to amazing sex.

They don’t make sure their partners had an orgasm

Just because you were satisfied, you cannot assume she was too. Unless you made an effort to make it pleasurable enough for her, it may not have happened. Some women need extra help from you to reach the big-O. 

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Taboo

What is it like to have a threesome?

Well, before having a threesome, you need to make sure the bed is big enough for all of you to sleep in together afterward.

Okay, having a threesome now is not the best idea given the pandemic, but the idea of more people in the bedroom stays the most popular sexual bucket list activities. 

Our advice is to have a threesome in healthier times, but if you don’t want to put your whole life on wait, just do that with someone you trust. Okay, now back to the most popular fantasy. And no, a threesome isn’t a male fantasy that pop culture tries to portray. There are many reasons why women would want a threesome. So, no matter if you are a girl or a boy, you should be encouraged to explore it if it turns you on. 

Related story:
Is it okay that I want a threesome with my partner?

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Whether you are in a committed relationship and you want to invite someone else in your bed, or you look to join a couple as their unicorn, or you just want to try something new amongst friends, a threesome is easier to have than you would think.

Yes, there should be planning involved, and the most important thing is that everyone is on board with the rules.

What actually happens during the threesome? 

You don’t have to be nervous – it’s still sex, and you know that you enjoy having sex. But, you will probably start with some booze, so everyone can relax a bit. During the foreplay, of course, there will be a lot of kissing and going down on each other. You can go down on someone, while you ride the face of the other person. And then, you can try every sex position that you want. 

It is your choice whether you will get fucked by both of them or you will just fuck them. But, you should be open to new things. You would never know whether you like your butthole to be touched unless you try! 

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What if the threesome doesn’t go the way you’d imagined?

Well, at least you tried, and don’t forget that everything gets better with practice. Wink, wink. It can be overwhelming and not as cohesive as you expect. But it can also be fun and balanced, and even a lot more fun than you thought it would be. If this is a fantasy of yours, we encourage you to try it!  

A Threesome

Things to know before trying threesome

  • Everyone is stressed about whether it will be okay. But the more relaxed you are, the better the sex will be. 
  • Be open to try new things. So, any hot ideas you have been too shy to try before, throw them in now! You are doing something outside your comfort zone, so lean out.
  • If you are a couple, don’t make your unicorn your therapist.
  • Have extra condoms, even if it is one guy and two women. 
  • Music will help to set the mood.
  • Do not spend time spiraling in advance over what goes where and who is doing what.

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